No luck

The one time I slack
All heads turn

No one sees the good
But so hastily show the ones no one wants to show

Crazy world

Took it out on you
And now look where I stand.

Tied up
Unstable

It’s definitely a splash in the face
Wake up

Awoken…

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F*** it

Frustration at its best

This urge is so strong
The electricity passing through my veins
Each nerve being seduced slowly
O this feeling

Searching for some fulfillment
That will cure this feeling
But so hard
Crossing over into the unconscious state for there no thoughts progress
Well for me
And these nothing frustrates or gives me huge cravings for such things

But what would be best is to fulfill Tia crave an end this frustration!
I know the answer
But finding it is the problem
Why
Why

Beginning and end

Time is of the essence
It creates and it destroys

Creation so beautiful
destruction that obliterates

The essence of life
That which is still being sought

Seems like an eternity
But, just reality

Words spoken are that of which the air steals away
But when written, a bond that can’t be broken

It also hurts and destroys
brings joy

Sigh

All this makes no sense
Nonsense I say out loud
That is, on the top of my mind

Pondering all possibilities
Wondering what never happened if it could

Walking on thin ice
Waiting for the short cracklings
Then it becomes rapid
And before you know it
Everything’s crashing in

Contradicting

This l feeling

I am alone because I know what it’s like to be loved and hugged and and kissed upon my forehead.

If only I had that back, without the love. I like being held and reassured!

I just want to be held in close proximity to body warmth!

I want to feel a pulse, pulsating through every part of their body!
Their heart matching mine

Taking turns lying on each others chest. Playing in each others hair.

Giving me horrible massages but because that person I love it!

I want to spoon with someone and kiss me goodnight!

O that physical touch that breath on my neck just saying how much they want to hold me close and smell my hair and tell me I stink but still hugs me close because no matter what they want to hug me and hold me close in their arms not knowing how long but wanting it to not end anytime soon.

That night

It’s wasn’t clear
It was that night
I held you tight

We were bounded
From one extreme to another
The range was too large
And we lost ourself in it all

Losing felt so good
For love it was
That’s the game we lost to each other

A game that was played
Over and over again
Blinded for we jump ditches and skipped through storms

Secret

I am really happy to be in a group of people u atleast say hi to now. But I’m terrified that I may do sumtn to ruin the “acquaintance”. K I thought I could love you, I trusted you and thought you we could have been exclusive, I honestly never looked at any other girl the way I saw you. I love having sex with men and thought I would never give it up but for you it was the total opposite. When we stopped speaking you were still on my mind at first a lot and after, you became a faint memory. But during the period of last month I been going through a lot of things and I thought of you and my chance I missed. I don’t regret it but I thought of the possibilties of what could have been. Any ways that is the past and it will remain there, we both have gone our seperate ways. I hear your still taken so I can’t bust a move (lol) and I wish you all the best. I know its unnecessary to say all this but everytime we speak for those brief moments I just want to tell you how I feel, I know I’m not obliged to but its been gnawing at me. I consider you a loyal and honest person, I hope if changes take place its for the best. This is just a second of your time. Thanks and please do not share this anyone not even your best friends, I am asking sincerely. Anywho moving on. Hi and ttyl 🙂

Losing me?

Losing myself

I remember who I am
My name at least
But who I used to be was kind of a different person.

I am still self motivated
Maybe even more now
Because I know what I want to study
But that independent me?
She is struggling to survive
Barely on the surface
She exist but to some extent
I cannot make myself happy now
The epitome has not been met
For I know there is more I can, I need to and I will achieve
Bt falling in to grooves for too long and one can make them self comfortable
I think it’s happening to me