I want to learn but I don’t want it to consume me. I want to be able not to think but wanting this isn’t allowing me to think past a certain level which I think isn’t so bad. There I go again thinking.

Is it really that bad?! No. I don’t think so.
I hate complaining mainly cause I don’t want to be complained to or about and secondly if we complain I think we should have some sort of thought process you g on to figure out solutions. I mean they are our problems. Our individual problems and only we know why they are there or what caused them or anything related to them. We know them better than anyone, no matter how much you relate it to someone or a friend o my you know all the truth about it. Only you have the raw data. And therefore ultimately only you can find solutions. Therefore we basically I’m saying e do t need shrinks cause what so they do, what do friends do? They help YOU figure it put, it comes back to you. … Maybe I’m wrong maybe we do need all those other people in our lives. I’m still trying to understand them.

My mom, I don’t know anymore. She has an idea but her route there is a failing on Nd that’s a bad thing to prolly say but that’s my outside perspective and maybe that’s her only option. But I try not to judge but then again I am human and I judge because I can. If it hurts I try not to, if its sensitive I try to hold back but you can stop me from thinking my thongs. I might be wrong the first nd second and third time but someone will tell me the answer or I will ask or I will figure it out. But I will do what I feel I need I feel need to.

Okay this note has gone on so many tangents that I don’t where to continue right now. Back to work!


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