I got it ! ? :D

Happpy feeling ooze from my core 

But its not what I truly adore


Don’t go breaking my heart♫


I always wonder what if… but I need to just do or talk that’s the action I lack 

I found it… NEXT POST 🙂 


Team Player

I grew up playing a lot of different sports and some I am good at other I am not so good so I do not even attempt it. Anyway not the reason for my post, Sometimes I wonder if I am too much of a team player, if it is even possible? hmmm

Because now that I am more aware of what I do, say and listen. I feel like whenever there are actuates, everyone MUST be involved I just have not found the perfect ice break that os not an ice breaker. I am still looking. And I must say it has its pros and cons.

I will go in-between both. Pros, everyone gets involved sometimes I literally force them 😛 but they do. I feel no one should be left out never! and sometimes children have hard time with it. I sometimes bring the energy and I can get my team pumped easily. Cons, I feel like I am forgotten because I am always asking the question and I end up asking myself f I am okay also. hmmmm why? I wonder is I am okay??? NOt sure. 

But this is a short synopsis of my early morning, no sleep post. 

I hope that I will learn something that is beneficial about the whole team player thing.

I love it but sometimes it is a hassle and I am not sure how to stop, t just would not be me.

Trust me though I am great at ignoring people. But team player I am? :/


A different from lately

So this is a very HAPPY POST with a few darks spots at the end… 

So this weekend I hung out with some girlfriends. We ran/walk/hopped/twerked across the finish line, the best part is that we finished. Now before AAAAAALLLLLLL of that and I get to the end I must indulge on how we got there.

Once upon a time… lol NOPE…

It was in the middle of the semester and I have been trying to get a group of my friend to do one of those fun/awesome/charity runs. I mean why do it if its not for a good cause. Yea exercise! but ya get me?!?!…

So as I was headed to my Mechanics of Material class with my horrible professor I was greeted on the 4th floor by a HEEEEEYYY *insert name* !!!!! I was so happy my morning had some cheering up to it! 🙂 I told them about the run and they were like YES! lets do this! On the spot we signed up as a team the “French Kiss” (lets just say I have been trying to get someone to use that name, another cub I am apart of was suppose to have a fundraiser and use it but thtat never got off the ground ANYWAYYYYY) But whatever our name was our, team was awesome! ….

SKIPS the rest, to the night before… 😀

So the night before it was a girls sleep over and it has been soo long that I actually had a “sleepover” it was pretty interesting and much more ‘mature’ than the typical sleepover and plus my friend is married(she is the only married one, the rest status:single lol).

My day started a bit gloomy but once we all got to my gf’s house it was LIVE. Our idea of a good night sleep before a 5K was to go to a hookah bar and drink a lil and chill. I was twerking allover the place! #twerkteam I went to bed twerking and woke them up twerking,

One thing I am known for is my punctuality (depening on the importnce of it [: ) So these buggers decided to sleep under the covers for a minute more in which I indulged in more twerking on them. Them when it was time I was tooting my horn and we were off, headed to  the race to meet up with other team members and get all colored up #colormerad and stay fit! YAY 

We waited for our friends, most of them showed up the other to where LATE but still we finished they race and were re-united at the end of the race. The was was awesome the people, the vibe, the atmosphere was just beaming with all different faces, all different ages. It was really cute to see the little kids running with their families and just having a great time! We were suppose to twerk across the finish line but we did it for like a short second. #FAIL we got throught the race alive #YES #THANKGOD! then we partied a little, got some free give aways and then headed to dc, we were starving. BOMBED #chipotle and we ate so much we were stuffed no one could talk from there the group dispered slowly. 

The few that hung around decided to “chill” but instead it was more like forced chilling because we were tired and we had a food coma, #tryingtobecool, we grabbed a few beers and called it a day.

I was so colored up and I had a temporary tatt on my face, imagine taking the bus with that on your face LOL smh but I made it home, stepped righ in the shower and affter that I was KO(knocked out), thinking I was going to just take a NAP, I ended up waking up in the morning for work. 

Now from now on these are observations I made about my friends that annoyed me a little and I JUST took notice of. I may be a bit judgemental but I think we all are a little. I am not picky and I DO NOT get pissed off easily or annoyed but this really picked at me. 

1. one of my friends kept making childish comments; everytime someone had on somethign cool there would be a following remark “we shoul dget that”, “we are not cool enough”, “man we are lame”, “why didn;t we think of that”, “lets get that”, “I am goign to guy that” (keep in mind this is a sunday, therfore most business are closed.

2. I had this one friend whp also tried to be number one. Nw here is my thing, I believe in competition but this was all fun in my head, sorry didnt get the memo. We were all friends there. Why was there sucha  big deal about it. 

There are more but I would like to just leaev this post a happy one. 


1. Some things you can ony take in doses.

2. Stop looking on the ones around you, enjoy you first AT ALL TIMES

3. Make sure the whole group knows the meaning of team.

4. Make sure all teh friends know each other. 

5. No matter how old, you can do whatever.

6. It encouraged me to run more. 

7. Kids are adorable!

8. There are good kids!

9. Why give up now, keep on living!

10. A happy you makes a even happier environment !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was awesome. I would do it any other time.

Image<——— MY FAV COLOR! 😉 

Why can’t I go…

Why do I yearn 
For something that’s not mine

Lost in my world 
Awaiting what’s denied 

And mine in the sense that it is what I want it to be

I was never spoiled 
Not given what I wanted 
But I worked hard to get it 

some things aren’t worth the sweat 
But how does one decide
Htf does one see through the fog
To the other side 

For there I might find 
Rest for my weary eyes 
Somewhere I can lay head 
And it will feel divine 

Until that place can be seen 
I wait with eyes peeled

I am alive

I’m alive but I don’t feel it 
I’m just swaying with the wind that doesn’t blow 
Moving back & forth in mild jello,
Slo mo 
BUT wait, 
What’s this? 
I am alive…
Do I rejoice or am I defeated?
What reminds me of this truth? 
The throbbing of the inner lobe of my cranium 
Frontal right 
Each jab is effective 
Making sure I’m cognitive 
Making sure I don’t fall through 
These jabs are pretty much my reality,
but still my question still lies…
Am I alive?

Before the end; another one

I feel you’ve gotten comfortable with us that you don’t do anything try n make it specail like its whatever like u have n u feel I’m not going anywhere so its oki not even try and make it reel brand new and nice 

Do u like to scare me with saying stuff like if I’d like a break? The thought of being without u cripples me, but is that what makes u feel like I can’t go? Well ur rong, u jus need to push me far enough and I swear I will go, I’m not any other girl, I want ur attention, u give ur friends more attention than me, u see them everyday but u don’t talk to me everyday… 

What are ur top 10 priorities in order of how much they are worth from highest to lowest 

Do u think u ever cheated on me? 

Then what about u texting shellisha that u love her? 

U keep saying our relationship is unhealthy when we argue, is that sumtn u think about sometimes even when we r good? 

Sometimes u resort to breaking up when the argument is intense, why? 

Is that to scare me or sumtn else? 

Tell me why u stay if u say stuff like that, is it becuz I beg? 

Do u still think I’m materialistic? 

Its been months now I hav been asking you to skype and u never come thru… 

I offered to buy the cord for your laptop and all now u can’t get back to me on it? 

Do u feel u shud b the main provider of our relationship? If yes, what’s ur plan on gettin to a position that can afford it? If not, what is the plan then? 


And then it ENDED

I did learn a lot and I try my best not to regret any of it 🙂