What I hope to be my last semester


My last semester at community college that is and I am just stressed beyond belief. I know it is only a half a chapter of my life,  as I consider it bit still nonetheless it is a chapter that I need to finish. I do not know what to do and I am just freaking out. I blog because the “real me” no one knows or believe is capable of being this stressed out. I do not plan anymore or I plan too much. No action, I am not as involved on campus as I used to be, I feel like I am digging this whole and hope to just shine out when it is time to transfer but I know that is not how the real world works.

I do not know how to talk, to articulate my feelings, put them in words that can come out of my mouth. 

Man the thought of just getting older and actually being on my own one day is so scary. 

I damaged my GPA and now that it is almost the end I am so worried that it wont be enough to be accepted. I applied to be a student blogger at school and got rejected and I got overit because I know I am not the best writer. But then I applied for a scholarship which I know a lot of people get and I did not get it and now I am just wondering if I will ever be able to get anything when it comes to college. 

I was just looking at my multivariable calculus** book thinking abutdiving in to get some work done but I am having a block. I woke this morning about to cry my eyes out, thinking why couldn’t I have just slept my life away. 

I keep wondering what is the purpose of my life, and if I am pretty much failing everything now what is left to do, since I am obviously no good at what I am doing now. 

**puzzles me I got into this class


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