I don’t want to be a bad person

I am in a  relationship, but why? I HAVE NO IDEA

He is my ex and I did love him but HELL NO are things the same. 

So out of syc PLUS it is long distance.

Now back to my first why… I am going to try and conceive up some reasons and hopefully some good ones…

  • he come to visit me
  • he reminded me of something great***
  • for the first 2/3 weeks man I felt like I was about to fall in love again
  • when I see him ever again i know I will be in good hands no matter what (bad)

Everything that makes me wonder why in the first place:

  • he SUCKS at communication 
  • He sees his friend literally 24/7. I KID YOU NOT and when it comes to time with me, I beg for it. All we do is petty stupid text messages
  • I feel ignored and pushed to the side 
  • i don’t always find him physically attractive
  • I feel he is complacent about “us”
  • I don’t feel the love 80% of the time

BUT saying all that,  I can’t find it in me to break up with him -___- how silly can I sound?! 

Sigh I try not think about it but obviously I’m not doing a pretty good job am I

Working on my own, on me

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