Racisim is real

Coming from the Caribbean,

Jamaica to be exact.

I never saw colour,

I never knew race,

I never knew it could be such disgrace.

I knew of social classes,

now that was prominent,

but still it never meant,

that we had to be bent,

on who is who,

and what is what,

and we were content.

To America I go!

to the world were my dreams have hope?

where opportunities are endless?


This is where I noticed colour,

that my complexion really hovered.

What’s this they talk about?

The blacks, the whites, the hispanics, the “you name it”?

I just DON’T GET IT!

Am I being too ignorant, is there I’m something missing?


WHY, do we need to point this out?


Pros and cons HA

Pros Cons
He makes me happy He can b stubborn just a tad
He makes me smile He confuses me sometimes
He respects me Wants too much
He wants a family like me Says shellesha is doin MY “job”
Sex is great This distance
He is ambitious I’m so insecure most times now bcuz of all the shit we been thru
I can always talk to him Too vulnerbale/weak for him
He motivates me Even thru it all I don’t think he realizes I’m an emotional wreck bcuz of him
His honesty of late I’m scared he cheats
He is willing to do almost anything for me The fact he thinks I’m shady :s
He is smart I don’t want him to make hustling his career***
Great business ethics The fact that he wants me to not fck up but if he does I shud understand he got needs
The way he is passionate about makin a change(y) The way he loves everybody else -_-
The way he loves his family I need to run who I want to friends with list with first b4 I run into any friendship.
We both hav a like for cars and football Doesn’t realize when I’m not feeling well but I wanna talk just don’t know how to start(guy thing probably)

A ‘To-do List’ I dug up since 2012

The List:

  • Go to Bali
  • Ride an elephant
  • Have sex in a moving mode of transportation 😀
  • Hav a pet snake, not forever
  • Cook fancy dinner for my “husband”
  • Have a boy and girl child
  • Go bungee jumping
  • Go skydiving DONE
  • Scream bomb in a plane
  • Go hiking in the rain forest
  • Go to Australia
  • Go to Germany
  • Play water polo in Hungary
  • Castrate a rapist
  • Smack the s@%& out of someone who abuses another for no plausible reason
  • Help some homeless child to get an education
  • Help an addict to realize they can do without
  • Model somewhere EH
  • Go to Hawaii
  • Surf on some gnarly waves!
  • Skateboard for real
  • Get a tattoo* I’M A SCAREDY CAT 
  • Colour my hair DONE
  • Go up in a hot air balloon
  • Learn to dance on a pole DONE
  • Own a secret bed room for sex with mirros everywhere n draws of sex toys etc 🙂
  • Give back to all those who helped in my growth as an adult CONTINUOUS PROCESS
  • Take care of my mother when I start working
  • Volunteer in another country that’s has some sufferation
  • Maybe join the peace core
  • Have my own enterprize
  • Learn to ride a motor cycle
  • Go rock climbing
  • Try handgliding
  • Start a fire from scratch
  • Learn to belly dance

I wish  

I wish I didn’t feel so bad about not being smart enough

I wish I could make ya’ll happy and myself happy

I wish I didn’t know anything

I wish I was completely ignorant cause its not like I know a lot anyways

I wish no one harm

I wish I could people around me

I wish I knew what to do.

I wish I knew what happiness was like when I was a kid again

I wish I didn’t have to think about the future already

I wish I was 9 again

I wish I could read minds

I wish I knew what I wanted to study

I wish I knew what I was best at

I wish I knew what to do next

I wish God would speak to me.

Am I asking too much?

All I wanted was to be loved & give love back [that’s a given]

There are things that you do when your in love, [I think] like:

U just want to show them love everyday [all day] in any possible way

U want to shower them with gifts

U want to be with them at reasonable times

U want to do things to please them

U want to talk to them at all times

U want to find out more things about them

U want to hear their voices a lot

U love small things that they do

U want to know about their well being a lot

U don’t ignore them

U apologize when u did something wrong

U respect them

U trust them

U don’t be the angry jealous boyfriend[/gf]

U talk about them all the time

U make them know that you are the joy of your life