All posts by blackbirdpi

Student of the world, but currently a graduate student in my twenties studying teaching methods and theories etc. Dreams of traveling the globe. There is so much to learn outside of the traditional classroom, experiences that no one give me without myself going somewhere new! Trying new hobbies, anything that helps to recharge my chi, where I find balance with the things society expects of me, things I want to do without infractions and organizing my "BIG HAIRY AUDACIOUS GOALS". I like drawing and painting not because I am good at it, but because it relaxes me. Growing up an active child, meant being thrown into all sports, but I walked away loving mainly one, WATER POLO! :) Blackbirpi started out of frustration, anger, heartbreak and some happiness as I walked away from a break up that was big for me.

Blessed and I now know it

My friends always say I know many people, but none of them really know me. So my real friends groups is really small and I think somewhat unreliable, because they think I always have someone to call on.

This is when it becomes lonely and no one notices, but in truth we are never really lonely as long our mental faculties are in tune. But I say blessed, because the other day I was stranded in place I am not familiar with and I was low on funds and I kept wondering who do I know that can help me out.

I thought long and had, because I did not know who to contact and I really do not like asking for favors, so this was partially my fault. Anyhow I made me a list in my head and I wondered should I ask them and tried to think about their responses as if I knew them like the back of my hand.

I eventually had 2 people in mind who I do not exchange conversation with regularly, but I tried it anyway and reached out to one of them. Lo and behold IT WORKED and I kept thinking does this show me who my real friends are. But all I knew for sure then was that I was blessed.

I am trying to not take people for granted, and even though I think I do not there are still those friends I know will have my back in certain situations, or so I hope anyway. The people we meet in life are not always what we think of them throughout our relationship with them, because it takes a rough patch for the truth to be revealed.

Pit Fur

I love my title, anyhow what is fur used for? WARMTH! ūüėÄ

Well let me start with me staying my pits are very warm and yes, I mean armpits ūüėÄ

Trying a little experiment you may call it and the fur is approx 2/3 inch, hmmm as a female I am not sure how some would feel about it. Some friends have shared their opinion, giving feedback from different angles, and¬†I listen with an open mind. So far I am great, but I could do with less sweating.. however¬†this is interesting.. seeing people reaction is HILARIOUS! omg … I have yet to¬†be comfy in a swimsuit b/c I have done NO shaving … I am all natural-ish lol…

But the more I think about shaving, the more I wonder why we do it and  why we do it the way we do it. Is it personal or societal or something else?

I am just very curious about human being… How we are raised in our homes and in communities and what triggers our moral values and makes up decide what we think might be the right thing to do… hmmm

-a tid bit of my thoughts-

Sex vs. Morals

I love sex!


Since I have been single I have not been getting any. Reason being that my morals go against sleeping around, however I had my first hook up about 2 weeks ago and it was a FAIL, not on my end. He just could not get it up and it was embarrassing. Anyhow I think maybe it is a sign that I should just wait until the next one comes around. BUT it is so hard. I do not masturbate soo I just think about it all the time UGH



Other than my morals I think it is just a health hazards having sex with too many people and also the risk of pregnancy is such a scare. I think it might be better to wait, maybe.




I started Meditation

I am not great at it but I am planning to hopefully gain something valuable from it.  Something I can one day share with someone who does not meditate, but also to share positive energy throughout the world.

This vast world has gone mad and sometimes I ask myself, what can little old me do to make a change? But I honestly think that living in fear is definitely not the answer!

We need to keep striving for world peace because as I read today “Death waits on no procrastinator” and this is so true. I do not think “the worst thing” that can happen is death, I think it is pretty much final. BUT it is what you do before you die that makes the difference.

Die knowing that you have left the world knowing you have changed at least one life and not just your own, but leave knowing you have left a positive footprint to be followed.

Just like the saying, “Time heals all wounds” well time is interesting like that, because change does not happen overnight BUT rather over TIME! It is essential to our being and our lifestyle that we urge ourselves and those who surround us on a daily basis to work towards a positive change!

It is a domino effect, but we have to make sure our domino falls so that the others are motivated, challenged and persevere to also lets theirs fall also.

Letting your domino fall is not going to be easy because it might take an insurmountable amount of selflessness to overcome our wants versus our needs.

Don’t get caught up in your thought

Just know that what you’ve brought

Is nothing less than naught

Altruism is one key

That may help us to see

More than just the bee’

But keep an open heart

AND let’s get a start!

A time to write

I always thought the time was right

and to me right was an absence of light

but an absence was what made me blind

to the truth of not having might

the might to see that I needed some light

a path i followed was were I was swallowed

into a new world not hollowed

instead a new world where bright light

was just just what i needed to have a great night

Racisim is real

Coming from the Caribbean,

Jamaica to be exact.

I never saw colour,

I never knew race,

I never knew it could be such disgrace.

I knew of social classes,

now that was prominent,

but still it never meant,

that we had to be bent,

on who is who,

and what is what,

and we were content.

To America I go!

to the world were my dreams have hope?

where opportunities are endless?


This is where I noticed colour,

that my complexion really hovered.

What’s this they talk about?

The blacks, the whites, the hispanics, the “you name it”?

I just DON’T GET IT!

Am I being too ignorant, is there I’m something missing?


WHY, do we need to point this out?

Pros and cons HA

Pros Cons
He makes me happy He can b stubborn just a tad
He makes me smile He confuses me sometimes
He respects me Wants too much
He wants a family like me Says shellesha is doin MY “job”
Sex is great This distance
He is ambitious I’m so insecure most times now bcuz of all the shit we been thru
I can always talk to him Too vulnerbale/weak for him
He motivates me Even thru it all I don’t think he realizes I’m an emotional wreck bcuz of him
His honesty of late I’m scared he cheats
He is willing to do almost anything for me The fact he thinks I’m shady :s
He is smart I don’t want him to make hustling his career***
Great business ethics The fact that he wants me to not fck up but if he does I shud understand he got needs
The way he is passionate about makin a change(y) The way he loves everybody else -_-
The way he loves his family I need to run who I want to friends with list with first b4 I run into any friendship.
We both hav a like for cars and football Doesn’t realize when I’m not feeling well but I wanna talk just don’t know how to start(guy thing probably)