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BeLive inUr Futre

Believe now

Believe never

Why care, Whenever?


Past was last

Now is Present

& Future shall be


Why dwell on then

When now is here

to be, to see, to feel, be Real


Now impacts then

& the then will be Now

Fascination , Anticipation

Appreciation, Emancipation


Motivation Continuity – Listen to Someone (Dr. Hrabowski) In Your Field

My unconventional story of school is a long one however, I bring it up because I began to get more involved when I enrolled in community college and there I started to aim higher every time I achieved another goal. I would talk to every and anyone, I would attend all meetings and I went to every possible event there was.

Then there was a silent pause, I became a person just ‘going with the flow’ and not seeing a path for myself anymore. I was lost with many resources surrounding me, but family forced me to persevere through. Motivational speeches became a jabber to me and I took nothing from them anymore.

As the current pulled me along I transferred and not being a traditional student, I felt overwhelmed and underaccomplished and back at the bottom of the barrel, climbing my way out. I became the student who went to class and then home or work. Community college and a 4 yr college worked in reverse for me.


I went to a lecture where Dr. Hrabowski spoke and I was blown away! I was not sure I would be able to find motivation like that again, but I did and I feel there might be others who feel this way and I wanted to just say it out loud because as long as I am able to achieve any goal, I will aim to do so. His charismatic demeanor and his title told one story, a collinear one and one that I aim to achieve also. Educate ourselves, our neighbors and our youths. It is all possible!

*However, this is not long term and I will need to feed this addiction to motivation once more. Truth be told, self-motivation exist, but sometimes a small push in the right direction can also be very, very helpful.



Maybe I was ‘bourgeois’ – who has the right to be?


Before the BS – I was a fresh off the boat kid when I came to America. Hated it because I knew no one and to think of it in long term was far from my first choice. I struggled, nonetheless I completed my undergraduate after 1 college and 2 universities and 5 years. I was far from being the traditional student and there were times I was going to up.

Here I am, a B.S. in Mathematics and now at the end of my M.Ed. In Secondary Education, Mathematics.

— — —

What does it mean to be bourgeois? For me it is an action, that defines your characteristic as being materialistic and thinking you are better tan everyone else. So I am here to let loose what happened and be judged.


In the process of getting my masters, I do small jobs such as I am a part time teacher at two schools, I am a substitute teacher and I work as an administrative assistant. Now the last job, being administrator, especially the assistant means that I probably will get the most scutwork, which I honestly dont mind(it pays & Should be easy). However the ‘big boss’ wants me to work from her home during odd hours and do what I consider personal errands.

And the bougie-ness came out when I was not asked, but told to pick up papers and drop them at the boss’s hone! This made me livid, I am nobody’s errand person simply because that is not my job description. Meaning I did not agree to such things, I only agree to this administrative work because I still need money to keep my life going.

I am almost finished with my masters and when I am done, I will be seeking a career, not no ‘job’. I need something that will keep grounded and with all the benefits I deserve. I refuse to go down a ladder, cause the only place we should all be looking to go is UP! Even if I have admin working for me, I would never ask them of personal favors. I plan to help those around me to keep moving up also and I would never want them to feel under me, but more lateral even if they aren’t there yet.

We rise up as a community, a nation and as the world.


So the question still lies. Am I bourgeois for thinking this way????


Intriguing and yet overwhelming, that is how I see motivation.

>One day waking up, >feeling ready to tackle the world, no matter what it may throw your way. And >another moment either the same day, it may seem as if you are thrown to the side by the daily obstacles you come across.

Motivation to each person is so different and we come across it in so many different ways!

Only you can motivate YOU!

Our biggest Fear is Ourself 

I say all these things from personal insight and this is a door into my life.

I plan and I have grand ideas, but half the time I never take the next step in making them come through and sometimes I wait for friends to come about and help out, but they are never as helpful because no one is perfect.

However, we must realize that only we can do what needs to be doe for our own lives.

No one else is there to make our steps, no one can.

Sometimes I just sit down and clean and that clears my mind. But then I realize I need to make a move and do something.

But what is it that I do? I am not sure.


Is that I need to make a move and just see what follows.

Is this me? 20+

26 and living with my family… hmmmm – in addition to me not being very family oriented… hmmmm

As I continue to furthur my education I realized that I need to stop falling into the ditch of “I am too busy with school work” and actually live a life, specifically my life. However, after a few years of being in the ditch, the light is too bright and I am taking way too long to be ‘normal’ and join society again.

Dating – I have not been on a date since 2016 and I am not sure I miss it. (Am I wierd for that?) I do however sometime would like the company of a close friend of the opposite sex, so that we can have fun and possibly passionate ___. Nonetheless I think having someone is a good idea, but not something I feel a longing for.

Friends – I thought I had friends, but now that I am making some free time it sometimes seems that they don’t exist.

Family – Oh lawdy, lets just say I was never a ‘family person’ from the beginning. I try but I always happen to fail. I purposely make time to see my family, but deep down inside me it feels wierd and not enough. I feel like I am also somewhat guillted into it.

So I think I might be better off being “busy with school work” than trying to make time for me… maybe :/ ha


A very short post that I use to express my now.