Cookie the alias

What is this?
This feeling, it’s so mixed
So wired in
So twirled up

Man this body of mine
Conjures up the most ridic things
Wtf

One moment I’m yearning for a cookie just a taste would prolly satisfy me
And then another moment I care no longer for a cookie because in reality I don’t have that much of a sweet tooth

And then the past is unravelled and I’m having this horrible feeling
I mean really bad

Like I want to throw my phone at something but its not worth it!

Fuck you!
And when I saw that, I saw it with the most respect!
Yes respect

Acknowledge my irony and love it!

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Some

28/10/2012

It wasn’t a nightmare, it was t scary. It was stress it was the thought of my very being. My actions and its reactions. Those drove me out of bed this morning and into the pool where I found myself swimming laps. Laps! I never do laps! Why the hell am I doing laps. And the whole time I’m swimming back and forth I’m still thinking about those things.

Other than that, the guy who I thought I liked has made it quite obvious we are definitely not on the same page and I guess there is a first time for those things. He disappeared and then it was magic. I really liked him, but he kinda reminded me of the phase in my life where I thought I wanted to become some very religious person. No hope there. I will continue to fuck and learn! No stress there.

You live and you become informed and educated. You fuck up and you fuck up some more BUT in the long run we apparently should learn a thing or two.

I’m studying that’s my action. The reaction I seek is less stress, an academic high and good results.

Anyway that’s all for now folks 🙂

TripleCB

One of day 1’s

Day 1
So I make day 1 the day I start, I start so therefore I get to choose the day. Standing by the bus stop waiting in the bus! It’s crazy cause the buses aren’t here yet and it’s raining. I didn’t even see rain in the forecast. Now I want to tell the weather, the people who can afford to be inaccurate and still get paid. Nobody ever sued a weather man because the sun didn’t shine!

F*** it

Frustration at its best

This urge is so strong
The electricity passing through my veins
Each nerve being seduced slowly
O this feeling

Searching for some fulfillment
That will cure this feeling
But so hard
Crossing over into the unconscious state for there no thoughts progress
Well for me
And these nothing frustrates or gives me huge cravings for such things

But what would be best is to fulfill Tia crave an end this frustration!
I know the answer
But finding it is the problem
Why
Why

Beginning and end

Time is of the essence
It creates and it destroys

Creation so beautiful
destruction that obliterates

The essence of life
That which is still being sought

Seems like an eternity
But, just reality

Words spoken are that of which the air steals away
But when written, a bond that can’t be broken

It also hurts and destroys
brings joy

Sigh

All this makes no sense
Nonsense I say out loud
That is, on the top of my mind

Pondering all possibilities
Wondering what never happened if it could

Walking on thin ice
Waiting for the short cracklings
Then it becomes rapid
And before you know it
Everything’s crashing in

Contradicting

This l feeling

I am alone because I know what it’s like to be loved and hugged and and kissed upon my forehead.

If only I had that back, without the love. I like being held and reassured!

I just want to be held in close proximity to body warmth!

I want to feel a pulse, pulsating through every part of their body!
Their heart matching mine

Taking turns lying on each others chest. Playing in each others hair.

Giving me horrible massages but because that person I love it!

I want to spoon with someone and kiss me goodnight!

O that physical touch that breath on my neck just saying how much they want to hold me close and smell my hair and tell me I stink but still hugs me close because no matter what they want to hug me and hold me close in their arms not knowing how long but wanting it to not end anytime soon.

My escape. A part of me that I try to set free.